Sunday, 13 January 2013


This story is not appropriate for children and sensitive people.

The light in the bathroom was dim, only two candles placed on the shelf lighting it. Their flames were dancing to their own music in their own world; the world that we can’t hear or see but it must be magical.

There was a sound of music coming for another room, slow jazz. Perhaps the flames could hear it too and they danced to the sound of saxophone, trumpet and piano.

There were no other sounds in the apartment and no other light.

A woman with pale skin was lying in a bath full of water. Her look was focused, not on the white wall in front of her, it seemed as she could see beyond it and at the same time it seemed she couldn’t see anything at all. As she slowly raised her right hand something small and silver glistened in the flare of candles. She kept glaring in front of her and raised the other hand. She cut her wrist with one swift and determined move and only then her eyes moved. She looked how the water slowly turned red as the blood ran out of her artery and put the hand back down. Then she made another deep cut, and another, only this time she cut both her thighs.

She kept cutting her arm, legs and belly until she couldn’t lift her hand anymore. For a little while longer she stared at the water, red and cold, and then she closed her eyes.

Last week I wanted to donate my blood for the first time, but I found out that I couldn’t be a blood donor due to my chronic illness. I’ve always admired my mom for being a donor and I’ve always wanted to be one myself, but sadly I’m not going to be. The story was inspired by this experience, perhaps in a strange and morbid way but I do hope that it will encourage someone out there to save a life or two. My intention is not to offend or hurt anyone and I apologise if I did.


  1. An interesting piece of writing, especially as its something relevant to your life. Slightly shocking, and kind of want to know more. Why is she doing it and does she succeed?

  2. Macabre, but I liked it. My thought is you should never apologize for something you've written. If someone doesn't like it, that's their problem, not yours.

    Years ago, I would whore out my blood plasma, but that's another story.

  3. That was visually stunning to read. It's something that a lot of people experience, cutting/suicide and the visual of your words was beautiful.

  4. I have had two life-saving blood transfusions. I genuinely appreciate your desire to donate. All who do are heroes in my heart.

  5. It is sad that you cannot donate blood when it is something you would dearly like to do. These are powerful words. Keep well Diane

  6. Gritty and real...slightly frightening. Like Robbie, I once sold my plasma to buy food for my boys....until they no longer would take me, my blood had become anemic.

    Strange the memories that surprise us.

  7. That what powerful, vivid...and slightly depressing. Now I'm sad.

  8. It's very frightening, I could not understand that how this woman could do so. It was depressing.

    B&B Brugge                   

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