Dear reader, this “chapter” is from Jennys (Emmas best friend) point of view. I’ve decided to try and write it from another point of view and I hope you’ll like it. Please do tell me what you think about it; as always – constructive criticism is very welcome.
Mark’s calling me, should I answer? I’m sure he’s calling to inform me that he’ll be late tonight. I should answer maybe something’s wrong.
“Hello.” I’m trying to sound as normal as I can; I don’t want him to know how much he’s hurting me.
“Hey honey I’m just calling to tell you that I won’t make it to dinner tonight. I’m really sorry but I have so much work to do. This new project we’re working on is very complicated and time consuming.” Honey??? Seriously, he has the guts to call me honey? I can’t believe it. And I’ve been listening to this same excuse for months now, he should make up a new one. Does he really think I believe him? I did for the first couple of times he said he was working late. But I don’t anymore, I’m not stupid.
“Ok.” I hang up. I really don’t know what he expects me to say. I don’t want to think about this. I want to forget about it and put it aside. I have to distract myself. We really should make plans for New Years party, we’re really late this year. I hope that I’ll be able to involve Emma; I’m really worried about her. She’s been avoiding me and I think that she’s avoiding everyone. It seems her problems are coming back and I would like to help her but I don’t want to be pushy. I’m calling her and I hope she’ll pick up. She hung up. That’s nothing new; I could expect this from her; she wasn’t answering my calls for a couple of weeks and I had to call Tim to ask him what’s going on with her. He told me what I already knew; she’s having another episode of depression.
She’s calling back, that’s a victory.
“Hey Jen, what’s up?” She sounds much better than the last time I had spoken to her. It actually seems to me like she’s in a pretty good mood. Is she on anti-depressants again? I hope she is because I don’t see any other way for her to get better; I would like to help her but I don’t know how to approach her. It’s like I’m talking to a stranger, not my best friend.
“Tomorrow at 4p.m., the usual place. No excuses, we’re making plans for a New Years party.” This sounded a bit harsh. I manage to use the wrong words every time I talk to her. I’m so nervous because I’m trying to say the right thing, I’m trying to show her that I’m here and that I want to help. But it always comes out wrong.
“Jen, I’m really sorry but I won’t make it. I have tons of things on my to do list because we’re leaving on Thursday. We've decided to spend the holidays in
.” That’s a good decision, I’m really happy for her; I would love to go somewhere warm too. Maybe some time off would be an opportunity to save my marriage. I don’t know if I want to save it though. Mark’s been cheating on me for quite some time now and he’s really bad at hiding it. Seychelles
“You didn’t say anything. I’m surprised. Well it’s wonderful that you’re going over there, I’m sure you’ll love it. It’s wonderful and warm. I have to admit that I’m a bit disappointed though. I expected to spend the New Years Eve with you, just like for the last eight years.” I shouldn’t say I’m disappointed although I am. I would like to talk to her and tell her about my problems; tell her how lonely I am and how much I miss our endless conversations. But I’m in no position to complain to her; she’s in a much worse situation than I.
“I’m sorry. I’m sure you won’t miss us and it’ll be a wonderful party. I have to go now I’m meeting Tim and I just noticed how late I am. Bye.” It’ll be a wonderful party or at least we’ll pretend it is. Mark and I became very good at pretending and the others will try to avoid any awkwardness.
Maybe I should also pack my things and go away for a while; I would love to but I don’t have any money to do it. My business isn’t going so well. We would be flat broke if Mark wouldn’t earn so much. I could take money from our joint bank account; if he’s cheating on me I can at least enjoy his money.