Thursday, 9 December 2010

What about Seychelles

I come to the door of our apartment and start to unlock it. I love the sound of the lock because I know that in a moment or two I’ll be in the safe shelter of my apartment where no one can hurt me.
Your shoes are in the hallway so you’re obviously at home. I walk to the centre of our apartment which is a huge room – a combined living and dining room. The kitchen is separated by an oval kitchen bar. You’ve obviously been cooking it smells lovely. There is festive cover on the kitchen table and candles. Are we celebrating something? Did I forget about our anniversary or something? I’m sure I didn’t. Our anniversary is in May and your birthday in March.

“Hey honey, what’s going on? Did I miss something?” I’m a bit nervous. Is this an ambush? Do you want to persuade me to go away for two months and leave my job? You should know me better, I’m not going to leave my job just because you think it’s a good idea.
“No, I’ve just wanted to surprise you with a nice romantic dinner.” This could definitively be an ambush. What do you want this time? To move to another country? Adopt a child? Buy a dog? I don’t like dogs. Or will you just continue where I stopped you the last time by leaving the restaurant. It was a couple of days ago and we haven’t talked about this since then.
“Sit down, I’ll bring the food. Would you like a glass of wine?” I would prefer a whole bottle. I’ll probably need it.
“Yes please.” You bought my favourite wine, how nice of you. Do you want to get me drunk so that I would agree with you? I make a sip of wine and I wish I could light a cigarette. You bring the dinner to the table. It’s baked salmon and baked potatoes with vegetables.
“It smells wonderful.” It really does. It’s a nice surprise and the food is wonderful. I know that we should spend more quality time together but I don’t feel like it. I feel bad about it but I can’t help it. I should force myself to spend more time with you but you know me very well, you would know that I’m faking it.

“I’ve been thinking.” This is not a good sign. I’m sure you’ve been thinking and I’m also sure I won’t like what you’ve been thinking about. “I’m really sorry that I said that you should leave your job. I know it’s important to you.” That’s an even bigger surprise. I don’t even know what to say. “I just want the best for you and I think that it’s not good for you if you work all the tame and don’t think about your problems. You won’t solve anything if you won’t confront the problems.” I knew it was too beautiful to be true. If you planned a nice romantic dinner you just failed. I don’t want another lecture from you.

“I’ve also been thinking about this. And I think it might be good for us and especially for me to go away for a while, but certainly not for two months. Maybe 2 weeks for Christmas?” I’m sure this will mean a lot to you. And some time away from everything would probably be good for me. If we weren’t here I wouldn’t have to deal with my Mom. I really don’t want to go to the family dinner this year. I should talk about this with my psychologist but I’m sure she’ll think it’s a good idea to go away.
“That would be great.” This salmon is really tasty, you’ve done a great job. You’re a very good cook, if you weren’t such an amazing architect I would try to convince you to change your profession.
“I would like to go someplace warm. What do you think about Seychelles?” I’ve always wanted to go there. Jenny and her husband went there for their honeymoon and she said it was perfect. The pictures were more than perfect. Cristal clear water, amazing hotels, hot weather in the middle of winter. What more could I want? Another glass of this wine. Oh, you’ve noticed and filled up my glass. You’re really nice and sweet. I don’t know why you’re still sticking with me. You could find a normal woman, who would give you what you want and need. But you’re here, dealing with all my problems.

“I’m in. We could go to the agency tomorrow and make reservations. After work at about 5p.m.?” I thought I would work late tommorrow. But I can still go back to work when we arrange everything.
“I’ve also made dessert. Your favourite chocolate cake.” You really are a treasure. I adore chocolate cake. You go to the kitchen and slice the cake. I’m sure I’ll get a huge slice.
“You’re so sweet. Thank you for all this.” I really mean it. I don’t know how I would get through all this without you.
“I love you Emma. You know this, right?” I know.


  1. I enjoyed yet another chapter. your writing is even getting better but for some reason, i found the plot a bit lacking.. i dunno. maybe i love it more when your protagonist is full of intense emotions, the suspicions. i like it when she's restless, fidgeting and getting depressed. i like it when they're fighting all the time. lol. but she did display those emotions here, well i am just a huge fan of tragedy (in fiction only!) coz accdg to my english prof, it targets the gut and it stirs even the unknown feelings inside the reader. it moves you, makes you cry and hate and go ballistic. oh well that's just and boy i'm glad this is not the ending yet!

    or maybe i'm just identifying with Emma too much, she feels that the romantic dinner is too good to be true. i feel this chapter is just to sweet to be true. i'm guessing your preparing to shock us with another twist eh?

    btw where is Seychelles? oh wait i'll google that! :)

    p.s. sorry i got too carried away commenting. =p

  2. well on the second on thought.. i think this post is just superb coz you made me comment this much! but i'm not changing my take on sad endings. lol

  3. I liked this post - especially the way you made your inner thoughts stand out with short, sentences - they were vivid.
    I did get a bit confused with the dialogue, however and had to reread it- it might make it more clear to put spaces between the quotations, to make it clear for the reader? Just a thought.
    But I enjoyed reading it, and thought your character came across well!

  4. Great! I have to say that my favorite part was in the first couple lines, where she loves the sound of the lock cause she's home. I can so relate!

  5. I enjoyed the part where she is suspicious about his motives for the dinner. So true to life.

  6. Reading her reminds me of myself, weird.. Loved the post!

  7. I enjoyed following Emma's thought process, making me feel like I had superpower to read her mind, and I cracked up when I read:

    "I would prefer a whole bottle. I’ll probably need it."

    She sounds a bit like me there... It was a fun read and unlike another commenter, I enjoyed the break away from tension in this chapter. Well done.

  8. totally diggin' the inner monologue. Nicely done!

  9. Nice post. I thought it was refreshing seeing a little happiness in Emma's life and not so many twists. I'm obsessed with the show House Hunters International and this week they were in the place you posted about (Seychelles) - it's beautiful. Looking forward to where this story goes. Don't let the naysayers get you down, it's your story and you let it go in whatever direction you want.

  10. uhm am i the naysayer? lol. actually i'm an avid fan. and i just want to say something different for a change. i believe the writer, herself, appreciates constructive criticism. peace y'all! =D

    and as i always say, Jedem das siene :)

  11. To all of you - I'm really sorry I didn't replay to your comments earlier but I'm very busy with stuff for my studies. Thank you all so much for reading my stories and commenting, it means so so so much to me!

    @Caterpillar - Thanks.

    @Maria - Thanks for your comment. I do appreciate constructive criticism very much because I want to improve my writing.
    Thank you a lot, it really means a lot to me that you wrote what you think!

    @Bth - Thanks for your comment, I didn't know it was confusing I'll try to do my best to make it clear for the reader, thanks again.

    @Dani - Thank you, I'm glad you like it.

    @Barbara - Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

    @Doria - Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your comment.

    @Shopgirl - Thanks for commenting, I'm glad you can find yourself in my writing!

    @GoofyGirl - Thanks for reading and commenting.

    @Sandy - Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I don't consider Maria as a "naysayer", I really appreciate a constructive criticism, I really do. I'm glad she told me what she thinks.
    I think that the only way to improve your (mine) writing is by people telling me what I could change and do better and so on. I think you get what I mean.

    Thanks again to all of my readers for your comments, it really does mean a lot to me!

  12. I was just worried about you when we didn't see any comments. Maria I know you are a fan like we all are, LOL. I was just concerned because I know we are all pretty new to this writer's thing and we can be tender hearted. :)

  13. Thanks for worrying though you didn't have to. I feel really bad now and I hope you're calmed now. That's really sweet of you. *hug*

    Again, I didn't reply because I have so much work to do for my studies that I didn't even check out my blog. I feel really bad because I also didn't have much time to read your blogs and comment.
    I think I'll be very busy until this Wednesday and then I hope I'll have more free time. I really miss reading blogs.
    I hope I'll be able to write something today since I have an idea what to write about :)