The diet

“I’m so hungry, I would kill for a nice big steak right now.” Said a friend of mine a couple of days ago while we were having a cup of coffee.

“Well, let’s go to a restaurant and we’ll both have one.” I’m always hungry and you don’t have to ask me twice if I want to eat. I’m saying yes even before you've finished asking me.

“I can’t.” She replied with a sad look in her eyes.

“Why not? It’s not an expensive restaurant, I don’t have enough money to go to a fancy restaurant either.” We’re both students and we can’t afford to eat in expensive fancy restaurants even though we would love to.

She looked at me with an even sadder face and said:”No, it’s not that. I’m on a diet.”

Well that’s a whole different story… I have an opinion about diets and I would like to say that I was never on a diet in my life but I would lie. Even though I always said I would never go on a diet when I was watching my friends suffer because they were hungry and sad – just because they were on a freaking diet – I did try. And I also figured out that it’s really not my cup of tea.

I’ve always been very thin but when I was diagnosed with a coeliac disease and started my gluten-free diet (it’s not that kind of diet, because I’m not doing it voluntarily, I'm not supposed to eat food which contains gluten) I gained some weight. It's not like I’m fat, not at all, but I gained a belly because all the food I eat goes there. I really hate my belly!

With gaining weight I also found out that maybe slimming cure isn’t such a bad idea. I’ve decided I would give it a shot. I’ve read hundreds of forums and even a couple of books and decided that the 90-day diet is the best. The result is amazing - a loss of 15-20 kilograms in 90 days, and it also cures high blood pressure and – which is the most important – you don’t have to give up any type of food. The first day is a protein-day, the second a starch-day, followed by a carbohydrate-day, and the last but not least is a fruit-day. You just have to separate the food, not give it up. Perfect!

So the next day my adventure started. With fruit. With this diet you have to eat fruit for breakfast which was the first thing I didn’t like about it. I don’t like eating fruit in the morning, I don’t feel good if I do. But I was prepared to sacrifice myself for a nice flat belly. I ate a banana and an apple. And then I figured out that you’re allowed to eat just one sort of fruit at a time. I managed to screw up at the very beginning, how encouraging, right?

I didn’t give it up because I knew that I would have meat for lunch. I love meat! I spent my morning thinking about that steak waiting for me in the refrigerator. And when lunch time finally came I was the happiest person in the whole world. I grilled my steak  and a bunch of vegetables. It was delicious and I can’t describe to you how much I enjoyed it.

I also had the same menu for dinner. Just less food. I wasn’t so excided anymore. I don’t like to eat the same food twice in a day. I don’t even like to eat the same food for two days in a row! I started thinking about this diet from a different angle and it didn’t seem so perfect anymore.

But I thought “Hey, I can’t give up after only one day.” And I didn’t.

I woke up the next morning and didn’t want to get out of the bed because I knew that a banana is waiting for me in the kitchen. And a coffee without sugar and  milk. I love coffee with milk and lots of sugar. My only consolation was that I was having risotto for lunch. But instead of risotto with meat like usual it would be with vegetables. That’s not perfect but it’s much better than fruit for breakfast.

So I spent another morning thinking about lunch. It was so lame that I’m ashamed of myself.

I’m happy and proud that I make very tasty risotto so my lunch wasn’t so bad although it didn’t contain any meat. And yes – I’m basically eating meat every day and I enjoy it very much!

In the afternoon I met my friend for a coffee. As usual I ordered coffee with lots of milk and I was very generous in adding sugar. Mistake! I didn’t remember that I was on a diet and that I shouldn’t drink milk on a starch-day. And of course I didn’t remember that I’m not allowed to consume sugar. But I did enjoy my coffee very much. Much more than my dinner which was, guess what… risotto. The same one I ate for lunch.

I went to bed asking myself why am I doing this. I came to realize that I’m the same as those girls I always pitied – I was on a diet, hungry and sad. This realization made me so angry that I went to the kitchen and made myself a huge sandwich with a little bread and lots of salami and even more cheese.

This was my famous two day diet, and I couldn’t even get through these two. Don’t judge me. And those of you who are vegetarians – don’t judge me because I love meat. I don’t see a good reason why I would torture myself with a diet if I’m already forced to have a strict gluten-free diet. I can’t eat a lot of things I would die for. And I would literally die if I ate them, so that’s why I don't.

I’m just not diet material. I love food and I love to eat.