Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Memories

An old lady with dark brown hair was slowly making her way through the paths of the park, enjoying the first beautiful spring day. She loved the warmth of the sun on her wrinkled skin and soft wind in her short curly hair. She cut her hair short a year ago when the illness took away the strength from her hands and she couldn’t wash her long hair anymore. She mourned after her long curls were cut; her dark brown hair was the only thing she had left from her youth.

After an hour of walking she was tired and she sat on a bench facing the sun. She leaned back, closed her eyes and saw her young self  laying on the  freshly cut grass and her yet-to-be-husband was looking at her with sparkles in his eyes. In that moment she knew he’s the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He was tall and handsome, with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He was a real gentleman, always so considerate and kind. They could spend hours talking about books they both read or sit together and read poems or newspapers. He wrote poems for her and brought her a flower on every date.

They were madly in love even after many years of marriage and after raising four children. He was always there for her and their kids. He was the best husband and father in the world. He always wore a smile on his face; he knew when someone needed comforting words and he also always knew what to say. People felt better when he was around even if they were going through a rough time.

His death was the hardest time in her life. She lost her best friend, her lover and confidant. She was never prepared for something like this. She expected it, they all did. He was sick for years and she knew he would be gone soon. But she never expected life would be so hard without him. She had to learn how to live without her sweetheart.

She opened her eyes and the picture of her husband smiling at her was gone. Instead she saw kids playing and laughing on the freshly cut grass. She looked around and saw a young couple on the next bench. They were madly in love, she could see it. The boy was looking at the girl with the same sparkle in his eyes she saw many years ago in her husbands eyes when he was looking at her. She wondered if they too would stay together forever. She wondered if years from now that young girl would be sitting on a bench in the park, wondering the same things about the young couple on the next bench. 

Friday, 25 March 2011

Note

First, I would like to apologise to all of you for being so absent lately. I didn’t have time to write and post anything or read your blogs and comment. I’m really sorry and feel bad about it but I’m very busy with my studies.

The second thing I want to tell you is that I’m a guest on Rebecca's blog today so you’re all invited to read my post over there. I’m very happy, honoured and grateful that Rebecca has invited me to write a post for her.

Bebecause this isn’t a real post I’ve disabled comments here. Again, you’re invited to read and comment on my post on Rebecca’s wonderful blog Making Memories. 

Monday, 21 March 2011

Voices - Inspiration Monday guest post

I’m happy to announce the third Inspiration Monday. As you probably already know I was inspired by so many women since I started blogging and I wanted to share their thoughts about inspiration with all of you. I hope you enjoy this series of posts as much as I do and I hope that you’re inspired by my guests.

Today’s guest is Froggy who writes a lovely blog Happy Frog and I. She’s an amazing and diverse writer and I enjoy reading her fictional pieces as much as Children’s TV posts and everything in between. I warmly suggest that you check out her blog in case you're not following her yet.

Froggy is a kind and positive person who can inspire you in so many different ways. I’m honoured to be hosting her on my blog and I know… I really should stop babbling… Here we go; I give you Froggy:



Sometimes, in my dreams, I can hear my dad's voice.  I recognise just the right elements of tone, warmth and accent, whether he sounds cross or happy, calm or agitated.  Whatever the mixture of different elements my slumbering mind produces, I can always tell it is him. 

The minute I wake up, the detail of his voice starts to fade. I spend a few moments dredging the corners of my mind, trying to ensure that I have captured enough in my long term memory to remember.  I know that by the time I have left my bed to start another day, the memory has disappeared completely.  This never stops me trying to capture his voice.  The lessons are never learned.

The darker memories of my life rarely do as they are told.  Instead of softening with time to a point where all that remains is unquestioned acceptance, they rebel.  They push their way to the forefront of my consciousness, eschewing peace of mind in their desperation to be heard.  Sometimes they provide inspiration, on other occasions they crush it. 

There are no precious video or audio recordings I can turn to in order to hear my dad.  Only his image remains intact and available whenever I need reassurance.  In less then five years my face will be older than the one that looks back at me from photographs taken just before his death. It is a milestone that often troubles me.  Photographs can be helpful but they never catch the spirit of a person as much as their voice.  Being without my dad’s voice is something I should be used to after all these years, but I am not. 

My first experience of trying to hear and capture a voice that was devoid of physical form but nestled deep within my head occurred when my dad was still alive and I was six years old. Under the instruction and supervision of whichever nun was teaching us, we would wait; we would sit in class quietly with our eyes shut tight and our hands clasped together.  These sessions provided rare occasions in my early life where my mind was temporarily empty of imaginings and conversations. It had been explained to us the first time it happened what the aim of the experiment was.  We were supposed to hear the sound of God talking to us. 

I would always sit with my elbows digging into the hard wood desk I was seated at hoping I would not hear anything, but slightly disappointed when this came to pass.  A small part of me wanted to be chosen, to be special.  A larger part did not want to hear the imagined booming voice of a deity in my head. If he chose to talk to me it could be taken as full confirmation that he existed.  It would mean he saw everything I did.  I was by no means a very naughty child but neither was I completely good.  I was fiercely private about my alone time.  The idea of such an intrusion made me fearful and uneasy.  The idea of not being special and included made my stomach feel like it was going to flip over.   

Every so often the experiment would be repeated.  Once I heard hailstones bouncing loudly and rapidly onto the hard grey tarmac outside the classroom. On several occasions when we tried it around half ten in the morning I could hear the tinkle of tiny milk bottles gently touching and repelling each other as they were carried to position by the monitor.  Every time I heard the large black and white clock over the long blackboard covered in chalk residue. Its incessant tick-tocking sounding louder than I could have ever imagined possible when my eyes were open and human voices were intermittently allowed.  From time to time we would be reminded by our teacher to clear all thoughts from our minds and leave the way clear for God to approach us. This was a request I would valiantly try to put into practice. 

Some of my classmates said they did hear him and perhaps that is true.  God’s voice was always described as male, never female, something I did not question at the time.  As for me, I did not hear the sound of God’s voice, not then and not now. There is only one voice I yearn to hear in my waking hours as each year passes.

Occasionally I will be sitting quietly thinking of nothing in particular and suddenly I will be hit by a strong urge to pick up a pen in a half daze and start writing.  I get a tingling feeling deep inside my brain that urges me to write.  I am suddenly immersed in the echoes of the past, reminded of the swiftness of the present and conscious of unknowable stories to come.  Sometimes when I look back at a story or blog post I will find myself perplexed with no idea how most of the words formed themselves into their final patterns. 

I am not saying that I think my dad invades my alone time and speaks to me.  Nor that I imagine these odd flashes of inspiration come from him however unlikely that may be.  It just makes me wonder if I have inherited his style and method of writing.  It makes me curious how much of me is influenced by my genes, my upbringing and my adult life.  Have I become an extension of my dad’s voice?

A discussion on what inspired his writing and particular style and approach is one of the many conversations I wish I could have with him. In preference to posing questions I cannot answer.  Instead of waiting for a voice that will never be heard.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

100 words: Fooled

I am craving spring; this winter was far too long and way too cold.

I am craving spring because it makes me happier with nicer and less gloomy days.

I can't wait for trees to turn green and for blooming buds on the tree branches. I can’t wait for longer and warmer days and lazy afternoon coffees with my friends after classes. I am craving after light spring outfits because I am tired of heaviness of layers of clothes.  

Two weeks ago I thought the spring was already here but I was wrong; two beautiful and warm days fooled me. 

Thursday, 17 March 2011

The Versatile Blogger Award

One of my friends surprised me for my birthday with a wonderful Versatile Blogger Award. She wrote the first ever guest post I hosted a couple of weeks ago about her amazing Grandma Polly. You probably guessed by now that I’m talking about Barbara whose thoughts you can read on Notes from the second half. Barbara, thank you again!





In order to accept this award I should write 7 things about me and pass the award to 7 bloggers. Two very hard tasks since I’ve done this a couple of times before, but I’ll give it a try.

Here are 7 facts (random and in no particular order) about me:

  • I’m a cat person and I don’t like dogs. I’ve been bitten by dog twice (once in my eye and it almost lost eyesight and the second time I was bitten in my calf) and I think that’s a pretty good reason for not being fond of dogs. And it’s also a good reason for being afraid of them.

  • I have a clear picture of how and when things should be done and get very upset, disturbed and even angry when things are not done the right way (which is my way, of course). You can call me a control freak.

  • I love turtles. I have two at my parent’s house where they have their own space in our garden. They are lovely.

  • I love wearing big rings, different shapes and colours.

  • I Tweet. A year ago I was very sceptical about Twitter and didn’t like it but then I gave it a chance and now I love it. My username is @ShinyStarlight if you want to follow me.

  • I love Grey’s Anatomy and watch it on a regular basis.

  • My dream car is an Aston Martin V12 Vantage. No words needed.  


The first part of my job is done and it wasn’t as tough as the last time. But the hardest part is to choosing 7 bloggers. The last couple of times I got the awards I passed them to everyone but this time I’ll follow the rules and pick out seven bloggers:









Mission accomplished. 

Monday, 14 March 2011

Growing up

Today is my 23rd birthday. I’m an adult now and lately I’ve noticed that everyone’s treating me as an adult. I’m all grown up and I’m the one responsible for myself. If I would do something wrong I would be the one who would be carrying the consequences.

You really know that you’re grown up when your parents treat you like an adult. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at the dining table with my Mum and my sisters. I was talking with my Mum about something serious and my sisters were asking all sorts of questions and interrupting the conversation. At one moment I realised that not so very long ago I was the one sitting at the table with adults, asking stupid questions.

You also know that you’re really grown up when you’re living with someone and get very annoyed when she/he leaves breadcrumbs on the counter or when you find an empty milk carton in the refrigerator.

Another indicator of adulthood is also clothing (or lack of it). When we’re younger we wear something because it’s cool to wear it, no matter how weird it looks, how (un)comfortable it is and how (not) warm it is. Back in high school me and most of my friends wore All Stars (the regular ones, not the leather ones) in winter and it didn’t matter how much snow had fallen. Our winter jackets were way too short and we were freezing most of the time. Now you see us wearing warm winter boots, long winter coats and a few layers of clothes – it doesn’t matter how it looks (ok, it does, but not as much as it did back in high school) it has to be warm.  

So… I’m an adult by all the criteria and I can do whatever I want. And I really want a piece of cheesecake that Mr Starlight made for my birthday. 

Thursday, 10 March 2011

100 words: A grey hair

Two months ago I found a grey hair on my head. First reaction was very loud screaming. The second reaction was devastation.

My Mum told me her hair was totally grey at my age which didn’t only scare me but also made me very sad.

But then I remembered that every grey hair and every wrinkle on my face are expressions of all experiences I had in my life which I wouldn’t give up for anything.

Still, I don’t want to have grey hair, so I’ll dye my hair when I’ll have too much grey hair to pull them out. 

Monday, 7 March 2011

You can be your own inspiration - Inspiration Monday guest post

This is the second Inspiration Monday. Since I started blogging I came across some wonderful women who inspired me somehow and today I’ll give voice to one of those amazing women.

When I decided to do guest posts about inspiration I instantly knew I wanted Rita to write a post for me. For those who don’t know her yet – you should really check out her blog The adventures of Cinderita.

She is an amazing woman whose life story is astonishing, sad, and full of hope and beauty at the same time. Her posts are always full of joy and inspiration. She IS an inspiration and the way she lives her life is inspiring.

She made me so very happy by saying yes when I asked her if she would be so kind to do me the honour of being a guest on my blog. Not only is she an inspirational person, she’s also incredibly nice and positive.

Now I think it’s time for me to stop stalling and give the “pen” over to Rita:



When Starlight asked me to write a post about inspiration, all I could do was smile. Inspiration is right up there in the English language for me, right along with Serendipity and Love. 3 of my most favorite words.

How do I tell you about what keeps me inspired? Or what inspired me? Or how I continue to be inspired? Well, it all boils down to the extraordinary people I have in my life that keep me inspired. What keeps me inspired is my life and how I choose to live it. I am inspired, often (not always) by my own life. What does that mean? Well, its like when I do something so far out of my element of comfort, or when I have a conversation with someone that I am uncomfortable having, I do that because I have a commitment to myself and to the person I am in a relationship with to grow the relationship in such a way that it inspires other people to want that for themselves and their relationships. I venture to say that my commitment in life is often just to inspire someone to greatness. Whatever that means for them.

Its funny how it works too because what ends up happening is I will receive an email, or a phone call, text or some other form of communication from a friend or a blog follower or even sometimes a complete stranger who will share that they were inspired by something that I wrote. One of my favorite moments was when Starlight sent me a Twitter message letting me know that she had started her own life list and had 27 items on it. I didn't even know she had read that particular post.  That is the kind of stuff that keeps me inspired. That is what keeps the inspiration alive for me.

Now, that's not to say that I need outside circumstances to keep me inspired. That is simply one aspect of it. What drives my inspiration is me. I can't possibly have an intention to inspire others if I am not inspired by my own self first. That is why I keep a Life List. That is why I do things that are uncomfortable or scary for me. That is why I am willing to look like a fool in the name of love. That is why I do things that sometimes annoy or piss off other people because sometimes I'm too happy, upbeat, joyful, and full of ideas. Because for me not to, would be me giving up on my own life.

Now what drives all of that? Well, it’s true. I am a human being so therefore am not always able to keep myself going. I can't always stay inspired on my own. There really isn't anything that we can do alone in this life (except maybe die). So what keeps me inspired to be inspired are the amazing people I am blessed to have in my life. Friends who push me past my own level of comfort. Friends who have made me fall in love with them, over and over and over again because they did something that scared them. Friends who take on really big things because sometimes they ask themselves "what would Rita do?” Friends who are willing to stretch themselves way past their own comfort zones because it matters that much to them. That is what keeps me inspired.

Or when my nephews sit in my lap to read them a story. They inspired love in me I didn't even know I had. They just want me to love them and play with them. And sometimes all I can do is love them, but it’s from a place deep inside my soul I want describe. I didn't know the capacity I had to love until they were born. It’s like they made something else possible for me.

What else? Well I don't think I could get away from saying that what inspires me the most is watching people love each other. I love to be witness to weddings, or couples sharing a kiss, or a dad with their child, or when adversity brings people together. I am inspired by the love human beings ultimately have for other human beings.

That is what moves me.

(PS a very big thank you to Starlight for asking me to take over her blog today.  It means a lot to me and I know that it meant a lot to her.  Starlight thank you for being a ray of sunshine in everyday) xo

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

100 words: Tired

I’m tired. Physically and psychically.

It’s only the second week of the summer semester at the university and I’m already dead tired. I’ve got so much work to do, many essays to write and so much literature to read that I don’t know when I’ll do it all.

I’m psychically tired because I’m worried if I’ll manage to do everything that I’m supposed to do and I think about it all the time. I can’t stop worrying and consecutively I can’t fall asleep in the evening. And that’s why I’m physically tired.

I’m dead tired and need some time off.  

Sunday, 27 February 2011

My perfect cup of tea

I sit on the sofa with a computer in my lap and a cup of my favourite tea in hand. Choco power is black tea with chocolate flavour and it’s perfect with a glimmer of milk. It smells wonderful and you can easily detect the chocolate scent which isn’t too strong despite the fact thatit is a chocolate tea.

But tea wasn’t always my favourite drink, not that I didn’t like it, I just didn’t drink it very often. As a child I usually only drank it when I was ill; my Mum would put a tea bag in the cup and pour boiling water over it. After a couple of minutes she would take out the tea bag and add four tea spoons of sugar; she knew that I wouldn’t drink it if it wasn’t sweet enough. Then she would put the cup on my night stand if I was in my room or on the coffee table in front of the sofa if I was in the living room. Usually I forgot about the fruit flavoured tea waiting for me and I would notice it when it was already cold.

When I was healthy I would drink cold cocoa; I drank hot cocoa only if I was visiting my late grandmother. She had a special recipe for my hot cocoa and she knew I wouldn’t drink it any other way; the way she made it for me was perfect. She removed the kettle from the stove just before the milk boiled and poured it in the cup with about five big spoons of cocoa already in it. Then she added three tea spoons of sugar and voila, there was my perfect hot cocoa.

In high school we would drink coffee. We weren’t children anymore so it was only appropriate for us to drink all sorts of coffee; usually it was cappuccino or caffè latte but on special occasions we went to a cafe where they served all sorts of flavoured coffees in huge glasses – you could have vanilla, coconut, chocolate, marzipan, you name it. Once a week I would go there with my girlfriends on our way from the train station; we would drink the delicious coffee, chat and laugh.  

I continued to drink coffee when I went to university but I realised that I drank way too much of the “black devil” when I had exams so I decided to stop drinking it. I started drinking black tea with milk and now I can’t imagine my day without it.

I enjoy going to the tea shop where they have a big wall covered with shelves, full of huge silver boxes that are filled with tea. I can choose between green tea, black tea, white tea and a lot of different flavours. I usually check out their website and decide on which flavours I want to try out. Then I smell the tea in the shop and each time I’m confronted with a hard decision - I would love to buy them all. Instead, I always buy my favourite Choco power and also choose a different tea with a new flavour which I haven’t had before. The last time I was there I chose hazelnut flavoured tea but when I came home I discovered that it smelled a bit too much like marzipan. I put on my brave face and prepared it; it wasn’t that bad but it was the only time I actually drank it.  

I enjoy preparing my tea; you have to follow a strict procedure for the tea to be perfect. I boil the water and put the bits of tea (I drink realtea) in a strainer. It usually takes me a couple of seconds to decide which cup I want to drink from and when I choose it I put the strainer in and pour the water over. After 7-8 minutes I take the strainer out, add two tea spoons of sugar and a little bit of milk. Then I sit down and enjoy drinking my perfect tea. 

Monday, 21 February 2011

Grandma Polly - Inspiration Monday guest post

Since I started blogging I came across some wonderful women who inspired me in one way or another... And because I want to share some pieces of this inspiration with all of you I've decided to ask those interesting and special women if they could write something about inspiration for my blog.

One of those incredible persons is Barbara whose blog, Notes from the second half, is really worth reading. She's a very sweet and nice person and so is her blog. I always enjoy reading every carefully chosen word, every line, short or long and every perfectly set paragraph she writes. Her stories are always full of inspiration, hope and love. 

When I told her that I'm planning to do a series of guest posts on my blog and asked her if she would give me the honour and be one of my guests she agreed right away. 
The only thing I told her was that the theme of the guest posts is inspiration and after just a day she sent me this wonderful piece. 

I'm very honoured to have her as the first guest on my blog and without further ado, I give you Barbara:


I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a daughter, a sister, a Christian, a southerner by birth, a friend, a blogger, a steel magnolia. And when asked from time to time who do you take after most in your family I answer, my Grandma Polly. 

Grandma was among other things, a storyteller. Meaning that she was a person who instead of just telling you the bare facts that you need to know, would tell you the story of the facts. And then will tie the facts together with background information. A storyteller wants you to know the who, what, when, where and how of things, not just cold facts.  I am also a storyteller. I was first called this by an English teacher in 10th grade. Since then the term has been used to describe me often.  It is meant as a compliment. 

I was thinking one day that I wish I could remember all of the stories my Grandma told me about her Mother. Her name was Adalonia and they called her Loni. Grandma would start every story about her Mom with that sentence. I didn't know my great grandmother, but I sure know of her. The way I understand it, Loni was a rebel in her own way. A soft spoken rebel. A strong woman. A steel magnolia as it were. Well liked by most everyone according to her daughter, who is my Grandma. One thing I remember is how my Grandmother's face would light up when she spoke of her Mom. You could tell she had loved her so and still missed her. 

My Grandma; Pauline, aka Polly, died several years ago. She was in her 80's and died from complications of Alzhiemer's. It was a particularly cruel way for such a smart woman to die. A communicator who had trouble communicating.  A storyteller who more and more often found she couldn't remember the stories. 

As I thought of Grandma Polly, I wanted to find a way to make sure she wasn't  forgotten. It seemed vital to share the stories of my Grandmother and  my Mother. These are the women who helped me to become who I am. They nurtured, they taught, they loved. This led me to a beginning of writing down stories. The reasoning being that one day; hopefully in the far distant future, when I am gone the stories will live on. I have a grandson and want him to know about the women who came before him. His Dad, my younger son, suggested I blog. 

Okay, I will talk your ear off, I am a storyteller, I love to write, but a blog? Me? He told me to go for it and see. And I did. 

The inspiration for an actual blog, Notes From the Second Half, came from something my Grandma Polly said to me. I asked her why old people talk about the past so much. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, my grandma was a little younger than I am now when this conversation took place. But, I was little, she seemed old to me. Her answer was because you spend the first half of your life making memories and the second half remembering it all.

Apparently, according to her theory, there is a transition period between these two halves. This would be when you start talking about the past a lot and telling the stories more and more often. But, would still be before you actually become one of those old people who tell the same stories at every wedding, funeral and family dinner. When I asked her, how do you know when you are in the second half, she told me, “Why honey, when you spend more time remembering it all.” 

I want to remember things and have them safely written down. We never know what the future holds. Many things happen to people. You can, as one acquaintance of ours is fond of saying, walk out that door and get hit by bus. A little dramatic, but true. Things sometimes happen. And if we live to be a ripe old age, we aren't promised that our memories will hold up. And if we live to a ripe old age, and our memories do hold up, we may just be too busy making more memories to write about the old ones. 

The inspiration to blog came from my youngest son. The inspiration as to what in the world will the blog be about came from my Grandma Polly. And the courage to sit down and do it? Well, I like to think that was passed down in the gene pool from Adalonia, who they called Loni. 

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Don't make him angry

The woman nervously looked at the clock. It was quarter past 6 p.m. and she knew her husband will be home any time. She went to the living room and picked up the toys her son had left on the floor and carefully put them in the drawer. She looked around and affirmatively nodded as she saw everything was where it should be. Then she went back to her tidy kitchen and looked at her 9 year old son who was sitting at the dinner table, finishing his dinner.

Be quick and then go to your room please she cautiously said to him, knowing that he doesn’t like to be told what to do.

You won’t tell me what to do. I’ll do whatever I want and I don’t want to go to my room. I'm going to watch TV the child answered, hissing, not even turning his face away from the plate.

Your father will be home soon. We don’t want to make him angry, do we? the mother answered quietly knowing that not only her husband will get mad but also her son will be furious because she was trying to command him.

You’re the one who’s making him angry because you’re stupid and you do everything wrong. I’ll tell him to beat you he said with a mean look in his eyes which scared the woman.

The woman asked herself what should she do. She knew her husband will come home drunk and mad at everything and everyone and he will probably beat her as he did every night. She was trying to protect her son even though he was becoming the same as his father. She saw how much rage there was in this little boy and it often frightened her.

She knew why her husband was angry. She knew he was angry and disappointed because he didn’t pass the psychological evaluation for a police officer years ago and he was forced to settle for a dead end job at the gas station. He was unhappy with their marriage although she tried hard to make him happy. She knew he didn’t want to marry her but he did because he wanted to do the right thing when she got pregnant after a couple of months of dating. He blamed her and their son for his misery.

And she knew her son was becoming like him because he loved his dad with all his heart and he was his hero. He was his role model even though he was beating his wife, yelling at her and humiliating her every day.

Suddenly the woman heard a car on their driveway and by the way the he stopped the car and closed the door she knew he wasn't in a good mood. She took dinner from the oven hoping that he would like what she cooked and her son looked at her smiling maliciously and ran to his room. He knew he'd better not be in his father’s way on an evening like this.

Where is my… dinner? The husband impatiently opened the front door and gracelessly took off his shoes. He walked to the kitchen and looked at his wife with disgust in his eyes. He almost fell to the floor because he missed the chair while sitting down which made him even angrier. The wife quickly put his plate on the table hoping that he won’t throw it at her like the day before.

What is this? Your cooking is garbage woman he said and threw a fork in her leg. She flinched grateful that it didn’t stab her and picked it up.

Are you stupid or what? he yelled at her. I’m not an animal, I eat with a fork, why isn’t there a stupid fork on the table? Stupid woman. She carefully gave him the fork afraid that he would stab her with it or a knife like he did a dozen times before. And give me a beer, I’m damn thirsty. She gave him a can of his favourite beer although he didn’t need it; he was already as drunk as he could get. He didn’t eat much; soon he stood up clumsily and went to the living room. He turned on the TV and watched sports while his wife was washing the dishes in the kitchen.

I want another beer he yelled after an hour or so. His wife didn’t bring him what he wanted immediately so he stood up and went searching for her. She wasn’t in the kitchen so he went to their bedroom. She wasn’t there either. Then he opened the door of his sons room. Where is your mother? he asked him.

I don’t know the boy replied quietly. He knew that his father won’t like the answer and he was scared.

Where is that bitch? I know you know where she is! the father yelled and grabbed his son by his hair and pulled him up from the chair. He slapped the boys face when his mother rushed in the room.

I’m here, I was in the bathroom she screamed scared for his son’s life. She grabbed her husbands hand and tried to push him away from the boy.

Don’t touch me bitch! Who do you think you are?! her husband shouted at her and pushed her in the hallway. She tried to run away from him towards the stairs where he caught her and grabbed her.

You won’t touch me ever again he said and pushed her. She fell down the stairs and lay motionless at the bottom, blood slowly spreading on the floor like a halo around her head.


This is a fictional story. If I have offended anyone I'm deeply sorry, it wasn't my intention to hurt anyone's feelings.

As always, constructive criticism is more than welcome.

Saturday, 12 February 2011

The big decision

Another post from Jenny's point of view. 

I’m really happy Emma called me. I didn’t even realise how much I’ve missed her for the past month. I’ve been so busy with my work lately that I completely forgot about my problems and it felt so good not to think about Mark and his mistress.

Hey Emma, it’s really nice to see you, I’ve missed you. She looks very nervous and worried as I walk into her apartment. I hope something isn't wrong again, I really don’t have the strength do deal with anything right now.

Hey Jen. I’ve missed you too. She really means it, I can tell. When Tim called me and told me that she’s much better now I didn’t believe it but now I see it’s true.
Sit down, we have to talk. Would you like a glass of wine?

Yes please. Something’s wrong. But what? Is she having some other problems I don’t know about? Did someone die? She gives me a glass of wine and I drink it all. I take the bottle and pour myself another glass. She won’t mind and it seems I’ll need it.

I don’t know how to tell you this and I know it will hurt you, but I can’t hide it from you. I saw Mark today… with another woman. He’s gone so far that he’s parading around with her? Why doesn’t he just stab me in my back? And Emma doesn’t know that I already know it. Gosh, she probably went through hell today, deciding if she should tell me or not.

Honey… I know. I’ve known for at least a year. These words were much easier to say than I thought they would be. Why didn’t I talk to someone about this before? Why didn’t I admit to myself that he’s just a cheating bastard? Why was I pretending not to know and acted like everything was ok?
Emma’s obviously shocked about this. I don’t know what shocked her more – Mark cheating on me or that I have known about it?

Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t I say anything? Because she was a total mess and I didn’t want to make it worse.

Emma I couldn’t tell you. You have your own problems and I didn’t want you to worry about me. And you’ve been avoiding me. I can’t tell her this in a nicer way. She hasn’t been herself and I couldn’t talk to her about it.


I’m so sorry Jen. I really am. I couldn’t help myself… I know you don’t understand and I can’t explain it because neither do I. I just need you to know that I’m sorry. And that I’m here now and I want to help you and be by your side. It’s really nice to have her back. She hugs me and I hug her back. It’s nice to have a best friend I can rely on.


_________________________________________________


The doors are opening. Surprisingly I’m not nervous, I thought I would be. Obviously I really don’t care about anything as much as I should. Should I?

Jen, what’s going on? He obviously noticed the boxes on the floor. Or did he just see it on my face?

I know you’re cheating on me. I want you to move out and my lawyer will contact you soon. Or should he contact your lawyer directly? He seems very surprised. And scared. He didn’t expect it. And why should he? I didn’t say anything or do anything to indicate that I knew.

Jen, I’m sorry. I... I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ll end it with her and we can work it out. He’s shocked. And he seems devastated. I still love him, I love his dark blue eyes and the little holes in his cheeks when he smiles. When was the last time we laughed together. When have we stopped being happy? When did we fall out of love?

It’s too late Mark. Don’t make it any harder than it has to be. I don’t want an ugly divorce and I don't want to fight. I just want to go on with my life. No, I want to create a new life, I want to do things I love to do and enjoy my life.

We can save our marriage Jen, I’ll leave her, I promise. Does he really mean it? Would he really leave her? Well, it doesn’t matter now, it’s over.

There is nothing to save, Mark. It’s over. Don’t show him your feelings Jen, don’t show emotions. Be strong, you can do it, just stay calm and don’t let him convince you.

Give me another chance. I deserve it after so many years. We deserve it. He’s serious.

No Mark. You don’t deserve anything. I've given you so many chances. You got a chance every day. Every day for the past year I woke up, hoping that you would come home in the evening and told me that you were cheating on me but that you have ended it and that you’re sorry. I was hoping that you would realise that you love me and that it’s me who you want. But you didn’t. And now it’s too late. I packed your things in these boxes and you can come pick up the rest of the stuff another day. Please leave. Now.

Sunday, 6 February 2011

The truth

In my previous post I wrote five facts about me. Four of them were false and only one was truth.

I tried to write down plausible lies and a weird truth. I managed to fool most of you which is quite a success, isn’t it?

I shall reveal the truth to those of you who are wondering which one wasn’t a lie…

Here we go… The truth is #2!


And now, let me explain the truth about these facts I wrote in previous post:

1.     I’m very afraid of snakes and I would never, ever touch one. I even panic if I see a picture of a snake.

2.     I really did break my big toe in the sand, but I have to explain… There was concrete under the sand and I kicked in the concrete while I was drawing a line. It makes more sense now, right? But I’m sure you would have all guessed it if I would tell you the whole story.

3.     I’m most certainly not afraid of hairdressers since my hair grows very (and by this I mean really very, very) fast. I’m always excided when I have an appointment at the hairdressers and I’m not afraid to experiment with my haircuts.

4.     I’m not allergic to peanuts.

5.     I’m (sadly) not fluent in French. But I wish I was because it is one of my favourite languages in the whole world.


Congrats to Baglady and Doria who guessed the truth! 

Thursday, 3 February 2011

The Memetastic award

Today I got another award. Chief aka Dad honoured me with the Memetastic award. Thank you so much, I am really happy about it!






Chief’s blog is very funny and I love reading it, I’m just sorry that I didn’t discover it earlier. For those of you who aren’t familiar with his blog – go on and check it out, it’s worth your time!


This award is a bit different from the others I got in the past because I have to write 4 lies and one truth and you have to guess which one is true. How fun is that?

So here we go:

1.     I love snakes. A couple of times I got a chance to hold a snake in my arms and I really enjoyed it. I love how smooth the skin of these animals is and they’re very nice and friendly. I want to have one someday but Mr. Starlight says no way.

2.     A couple of years ago I was drawing in the sand with my leg and I broke my big toe.

3.     I’m afraid of hairdressers. My hair grows so slowly that I really don’t like to see scissors near my head and every time I have to go to the hairdresser I freak out.

4.     I’m allergic to peanuts. Once I had to see a doctor because I ate something containing peanuts and I didn’t know about it and I got a really severe reaction.

5.     I am fluent in French. I really enjoyed spending some time in France last summer because I got to use French which is one of my favourite languages in the whole world.

Which one do you think is true?

And now I have to give this award to a couple of people and it’s a hard decision as always. Last time I got an award I gave it to all of my readers (just a couple of you accepted it though) and I’m doing the same thing again.

I give this award to each and every one of you awesome guys and girls and I’m looking forward to reading your lies and guessing the truth.